Taycob a Doppelganger for my husband?

I came into the Twilight phenomenon a bit late. I read the first book after the release of The Twilight Saga: New Moon movie. Then I rented the movie Twilight. Then I read New Moon, saw the movie version, read Midnight Sun, bought the movie Twilight, read Eclipse, watched Twilight many more times, saw New Moon at the theater again… and again. I tried, I really did, to NOT read Breaking Dawn before New Year’s, because I didn’t need to be devouring four books during the holiday season. I wasn’t getting any damn sleep.

I’ve always been a Team Edward girl. I didn’t have Robert Pattinson in mind when I read the first book, but someone pretty close. And once he grew on me, he was like a barnacle. I’m in complete lust with Robward. Jacob is fine… he gets a bit surly in Eclipse, and I really didn’t like his assault on Bella. I liked sunny Jacob. And I think Taylor Lautner has done a good job with the part, and looked pretty damn hot in New Moon. Still, I refused to go there because the guy was only 17. I mean, lusting after RPattz is bad enough, but at least he’s legal and even old enough to be out of college.

So imagine my surprise when this little epiphany hit me yesterday (as I went to see New Moon at the cinema saver theater after my book club meeting)…

Taylor Lautner kind of looks like my husband (he's number 93 in the picture).

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How did I not notice this before? What made me notice it now? Is this good? Is this bad? Argh!

Had Mr. NoTime noticed this? Whenever he mentioned TLaut (like last week when he asked me if I wanted to see Valentine’s Day), was he offended when I told him that I was totally not into TLaut? I tried to think of a way to broach the subject. I ended up just throwing it out there as we spoke on the phone during our commute to work this morning.

Me: So, I just noticed something. Has it ever occurred to you that you look an awful lot like Taylor Lautner?

Mr. NoTime: What? The douchebag from the movie?

Me: Well, yeah. The Jacob character.

MNT: The werewolf? No… really?! Now I have another reason to hate that stupid movie.

Mr. NoTime was not thrilled. But then I reassured him that the resemblance somehow made both MNT and Taylor Lautner more hot to me. He said “Hmmm… we’ll see about that.” I think he’s waiting to see if he gets any bennies out of this… like perhaps in the bedroom. I guess we’ll both see about that.

The other thing I have to wonder, is… why my obsession with RPattz? I’ve always been into jock-types, and RPattz is definitely not that. He’s skinny, cerebral, and dorky. I never even liked English accents. I guess it has to be the “Edward Effect.” I can think of no other reasonable explanation. (Or an explanation, period.)

Video of Details Photo Shoot

How can I put this on loop and send it directly to my brain?

RPattz, why would you dash our dreams like this?

So you’ve probably all seen the March 2010 article about RPattz in Details magazine by now. If not, the magazine was nice enough to post the entire article online here. If you haven’t seen it, go look – they took some amazing photos!



But of course the big buzz around this article is going to be about this statement:

"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover."

Rpattz, why would you dash our dreams like this?

My feeling is that of course he was being facetious, because he does that all the time. I can picture him saying, tongue-in-cheek, “Yes, posing with all those beautiful nude models was terrible! I really hate vaginas.” Because of course, he really loves vaginas. Right?

I don’t have doubts about Rpattz’s sexuality – I presume he’s hetero – but let’s face it… even some (many?) of our favorite hetero guys are afraid of vaginas. And guys don’t like stuff that they fear. Or that they thing might be smelly or weird. Rob jokes a lot, but he also tends to say too much, so I can’t help but wonder if there is a tiny grain of truth in those statements.

The guys of our fantasies (and fanfics) aren’t afraid of vaginas. They don’t hate them, and they are most definitely not allergic to them. They LOVE vaginas and can’t wait to get at them. They love the smell of them, the taste, the texture… well, you get the idea. Just knowing those words came out of Rob’s mouth sort of puts a damper on the fantasy (the opposite of Rpatzz’s usual dampening effect). Bummer.

But, I’m getting past it. The author of the Details article didn’t put Rob’s statements in context, or tell us his mannerisms as he said this. I prefer this version from OK! magazine:

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas,” Robert laughs while on set shooting the March 2010 issue in a spread featuring naked women. “But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. Thank God I was hungover,” Robert jokes in Details Magazine.

The only thing I don’t get is… if the author of the OK! article is quoting the Details article, how does she know about the laughing and joking? I thought perhaps she was there for the interview, until she cited Details. Hmmm. Still, I’m going with that version of events. I have to preserve my fantasies!

I find it interesting that the new make-out shots of Edward and Bella were released hot on the heels of these statements. As though someone is trying to smother the idea of Rob hating vaginas, by stimulating our vaginas. Well, it’s working for me!

Valentine's Day (2/11/10)

So this is actually the first I've seen of the whole "Robert is Bothered" series, which even has its own web site! http://www.robertisbothered.com/ I'm a little surprised I haven't heard of it because I really like Jimmy Fallon. Leave it to my husband to bring it to my attention. I am a fan of RPattz, therefore he is a fan of RPattz being dissed, ridiculed, or beat up (he like the trailer for Remember Me for that reason).

The author of this article at EW.com (http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/02/12/robert-pattinson-valentines-day-fallon/) writes: "The real Pattinson will be a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on March 1, to help celebrate the show’s one-year anniversary. What do you hope Fallon asks Pattinson to do? A video about being bothered by the “Robert is Bothered” series seems like a given. Beer pong doesn’t feel special enough. Pattinson is a musician, so perhaps a celebrity jam band?"

I'm sure RPattz will have a sense of humor about this. His stint on Jimmy's show could be hilarious. Perhaps they should play beer pong -- for Heinekin of course -- so we can see if RPattz can pong any better than he played basketball in How to Be.

I really don't have time for this...

So am I really creating a blog about Twilight? In the words that Edward immortalized... I guess I am. I actually took the step to create a site. But, I really don't have time for this right now. (Do I ever?). This will be the blog's humble, inauspicious beginning. Probably not my last inauspicious post.