RPattz, why would you dash our dreams like this?

So you’ve probably all seen the March 2010 article about RPattz in Details magazine by now. If not, the magazine was nice enough to post the entire article online here. If you haven’t seen it, go look – they took some amazing photos!



But of course the big buzz around this article is going to be about this statement:

"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover."

Rpattz, why would you dash our dreams like this?

My feeling is that of course he was being facetious, because he does that all the time. I can picture him saying, tongue-in-cheek, “Yes, posing with all those beautiful nude models was terrible! I really hate vaginas.” Because of course, he really loves vaginas. Right?

I don’t have doubts about Rpattz’s sexuality – I presume he’s hetero – but let’s face it… even some (many?) of our favorite hetero guys are afraid of vaginas. And guys don’t like stuff that they fear. Or that they thing might be smelly or weird. Rob jokes a lot, but he also tends to say too much, so I can’t help but wonder if there is a tiny grain of truth in those statements.

The guys of our fantasies (and fanfics) aren’t afraid of vaginas. They don’t hate them, and they are most definitely not allergic to them. They LOVE vaginas and can’t wait to get at them. They love the smell of them, the taste, the texture… well, you get the idea. Just knowing those words came out of Rob’s mouth sort of puts a damper on the fantasy (the opposite of Rpatzz’s usual dampening effect). Bummer.

But, I’m getting past it. The author of the Details article didn’t put Rob’s statements in context, or tell us his mannerisms as he said this. I prefer this version from OK! magazine:

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas,” Robert laughs while on set shooting the March 2010 issue in a spread featuring naked women. “But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. Thank God I was hungover,” Robert jokes in Details Magazine.

The only thing I don’t get is… if the author of the OK! article is quoting the Details article, how does she know about the laughing and joking? I thought perhaps she was there for the interview, until she cited Details. Hmmm. Still, I’m going with that version of events. I have to preserve my fantasies!

I find it interesting that the new make-out shots of Edward and Bella were released hot on the heels of these statements. As though someone is trying to smother the idea of Rob hating vaginas, by stimulating our vaginas. Well, it’s working for me!